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Do You And Your Spouse Parent Differently?

It is challenging enough trying to parent your children. What do you do when you and your spouse have different parenting ideas?

4 Responses to “Do You And Your Spouse Parent Differently?”

  1. Tanya Keefe says:

    LMAO :) I love it. :)

    Before I met my hubby, I LOVED being a single parent. I wouldn’t have minded an extra income, but NO ONE ever questioned my parenting response, the kids and I did what we (well I) wanted, when I wanted, and it was great. I was in no hurry to give it up… but then I met my husband, and, well, the rest I guess is history… :)
    Sometimes my hubby’s pet peeves with the kids annoy me…he hates the kids in the kitchen (as do I…IF I’m working in it) and is constantly herding them out as they attempt to refill their own drinks etc. I hate refilling cups for kids that can do it themselves. However, as it really bugged him, and I do have my own pet-peeves that really bug me as well I bit my tounge, tried to respect his need to not have the kids repeatedly doing something that genuinely bugged him (no matter how silly I thought it was in the beginning) and through a few well timed “permission to get a drink” allowances when hubby *was* home, (and me herding the kids out a little more during the day when he isn’t) we’ve established a fair medium where the kids don’t belong in the kitchen unless they are there for something specific. I even find I enjoy the reduced kitchen traffic. The magnets aren’t constantly all over the floor, and the number of children screwing around in the kitchen and whacking their heads on counters has fallen dramatically! lol :)

    It IS easier to just make all the rules yourself I’ll agree, but when my hubby gets to make rules (and enforce them) too, he feels more involved and invested in our family, and has a little more sympathy for what I go through with the kids as well. I feel like both of these things are really good for our marraige. Of course, it took us awhile to learn not to step on each other’s “parenting toes”!

    Sometimes he has really great ideas too on how to handle a situation. Usually if I’m stressed out and yelling, he’s thinking more clearly. (or vice versa) Even if he steps up (for the sake of letting the kids know we’re a team) and yells a little too about how they are being disrespectful or not listening, he’s still got a cooler head than me at that point, and often hands out an interesting related punishment I might have never thought of. Of course, I’ll admit to sometimes thinking his ideas are stupid, but I’ve decided worst case scenario, if that particular discipline doesn’t work, we try it my way next time! lol

    Sharing the burden (and joys) of parenting brings us closer as a couple (even when it causes the occasional dispute) :) It gives the kids the benefit of two different points of view, helps my hubby feel more invested in our family (and thus more willing to do things with/for the family), and lets the kids know we’re a team in all we do. And, maybe best of all…I get a break from the stress of being the “heavy” all the time! :)

    It is hard sometimes to work out a system (or to keep your mouth shut when dad is handling things in a way that doesn’t mesh with what might be your natural mommy response!) but despite it’s occasionally frustrating nature, for us, letting my hubby go with *his* natural daddy response has led to good things all around in the end.

    …may all your “What do you need me to do” dreams come true….. : )

    Tanya

  2. barb says:

    I admire you Tanya. I have decided that I hate Co-Parenting and just want to be the boss of my kids. This co-parenting stuff is exhausting. I don’t go to my husbands office and tell him what to do. When he comes home from work I want him to say “what do you need me to do honey?” Ok, maybe now I am dreaming…..

  3. Tanya Keefe says:

    compromise as best you can, and allow some room for each other’s style when you can’t. Hubby and I parent differently, but unless I feel like it’s somehow harmful, (or he does) we give each other space to make whatever we feel is the good decision, and whatever the other decides we back up. (though occasionally we will have a discussion in private and then amend any punishment later if one or the other raises any kind of concern)

    We strive for “cooperative independance” lol… I know I don’t have the marked cornered on “right” more than anybody else.. we just do the best we can and try to keep each other going (and sane) :)

  4. Tiffany Dayani says:

    My husband and I love this episode. Thanks for all the insight Jen and Barb. WE LOVE YOUR SHOWS!

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