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Max Diaries: You’re Not Entitled

Christina Cox

by Christina Cox, new mom blogger

No one is entitled to anything. You have to work at everything you want in life. But in my humble opinion, I believe there are two things that you can’t get because of sheer hard work and perseverance: falling in love and making babies. Certainly you can help your odds by working at it, but ultimately, it happens when it happens. And, in some cases it doesn’t. At least, that’s how it worked for me. Love didn’t come exactly when I wanted it. It took 35 years before I found the love I felt I was really supposed to marry and it happened more or less when I resolved to be single and happy. And, then once we were married, it took four long years to get pregnant with Max. And, I wasn’t sure that it would ever happen.
In those four years, there were three pregnancies that weren’t viable. One was discovered at 16 weeks, which happened to be my first pregnancy. We were devastated. There were four operations, the biggest one that was done to stop a massive unrelenting hemorrhage that made me pass out the minute I arrived at the emergency room at the hospital. And, then there were the long bouts of depression that affected my work and how much I socialized.
Before Max, I had trouble getting pregnant and once I got pregnant, I couldn’t keep the baby. I did everything that I could. I charted my period, took my temperature, faxed my charts weekly to my doctor, did extensive blood work, did acupressure, acupuncture, saw a naturopath, embarked on a fertility diet and employed various wacky positions AFTER sex, so as to increase our odds for pregnancy. I even saw a psychic out of sheer desperation, who told me I wouldn’t birth a baby. Nothing worked and I felt worse every day. I finally went to a fertility specialist, who at the exam informed me that I was ovulating that day. And, that’s how we got pregnant.
It didn’t matter that I worked so hard to try and get pregnant for four years. And, many women go through so much MORE than I did. It’s just not fair, really, how for some getting pregnant is easy and for others, it’s a heartbreaking challenge to endure. Sometimes, I feel it just happens when the “baby gods” are good and ready. Do we really have to abide by the winds of fate? I don’t like that at all, but when it comes to making babies, it seems like it may be true. Even so, I didn’t give up.
So, after all that, you can imagine our surprise when we found out we were pregnant with number two, another boy. (WHAT? There those winds go.) I am 7 months pregnant and it hasn’t been without problems. Another hemorrhage while I was traveling overseas with my family put me in the hospital for eight days. I have been on complete bed rest for two months, and the doctor just informed me that I must be on bed rest for another month, until I reach eight months, when the baby is most viable. Even when you get what you want in life, you are not entitled to the perfect situation, the perfect pregnancy or even a flawless love.
I guess these are the experiences that make life so interesting and help you appreciate the great parts of life. I’m not entitled to a darn thing in life, but through all my efforts and a little help from “the baby gods” I ended up with two gifts, a beautiful baby boy Max and one to come. For that, I am eternally grateful.

One Response to “Max Diaries: You’re Not Entitled”

  1. This is the best topic I read all month :)

    Warm Regards

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