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Searching for Quality Family Time


Guest Blogger: Xenia from Thanks, Mail Carrier

Although our schedule does vary depending on the day, events that come up, and my husband’s work, typically my family’s evenings and weekends tend to resemble each other.

Meaning: they’re boring.

Monday through Friday the time that we eat dinner together depends on when my husband gets home, but it seems to be filled with more mentions of “Sit down!” and “Eat your food, please,” and “Can you please stop asking about dessert? I said we’ll see,” rather than quality family conversation.

As my children are only 3 and 5, I don’t expect that we will have in-depth discussions on world politics, but I would much rather have them talk about their day at preschool or what is on their mind rather than bicker across the table at each other. That’s not too much to ask, right?

When it comes to the weekends, if we’re not rushing to a birthday party or out of town to visit relatives, I find it hard to muster up the energy to do much at all. My husband does a wonderful job of taking the girls out for some Daddy-Daughters bonding time, as they leave me in peace for a few hours and go visit the Children’s Museum, programs at the library, a weekly performance show downtown, or more.

But as much as I cherish the silence around here, there’s a part of me that wishes that I was having the same bonding experience. Don’t get me wrong, we have fun outings (and times at home) together all as a family many times… but the little voice in my head can’t help but wonder which times are going to be the ones that turn into the cherished memories? Will the girls remember us making cookies and doing art projects and playing outside? Or will they look back and the times that stand out are the weekend mornings that they spent with Daddy?

Am I wasting my time worrying about this?

I know that we have many years to come that are sure to be filled with good times and laughter that my daughters will grow up to remember and, instead of fretting about whether or not we’re including enough quality dinner conversation or family game nights or group outings, that I should just sit back and enjoy each moment as it happens.

A quote that I heard about parenthood not long ago has stuck with me and lately, I need to repeat it to myself more often: Kids remember the donut, not the hole. They aren’t going to look back and wonder why Mom wasn’t there to see the juggler perform on a Saturday morning; they will just know that they had fun watching him. And they won’t think back to weekday evenings and shake their heads that we didn’t have the most riveting discussions, they will hopefully just have an image of the four of us at the table together and remember that we were happy.

And that they were loved. Very loved.

One Response to “Searching for Quality Family Time”

  1. Jenny says:

    So true. My daughter spends her Saturday mornings with my husband as well. They have so much fun together, while I sleep in a bit. I worry that he’s the fun one and I’m not. However, I do think it’s great for them to have these special times together. After all, her and I are together ALL DAY LONG! LOL!

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